Saturday, 12 April 2008

Still no baby

The twinges came to nothing and I'm still waiting. It's an odd time, lying in bed at night and waking every morning thinking "will it be today?" You live in a state of uncertainty, knowing that something extraordinary is about to happen and your life is about to change drastically again but not quite knowing when, or how it will start. I keep making appointments wondering if I'll keep them.

My four year old asks, "when is the baby coming?" and there is no answer. I'm enjoying every kick baby makes, thinking it might be the last I feel inside. I like being pregnant and have to remind myself that birth is a beginning of a life rather than an end of a pregnancy. And yet, struggling to keep up with my two boys, I'm wondering if I've got to the stage when I need to have this baby because I need my physical strength and manoeuvrability back.

I was so confident baby would be early. Maybe I'll be proved wrong and will still be waddling around in May.

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